I know, I know; Followers of Christ aren’t supposed to wither and wilt in the desert, because we have God’s strength; the vitality and lift of eagles wings soaring above troubles, worries, fears; drinking freely and sated from the refreshing spring water of the Holy Spirit, but somewhere along the way, we stop reaching for God; asking for help, living in His strength and choose to stubbornly cling to our own frail, but familiar weaknesses… and we find ourselves in some dark places. I admit it, that’s where I have been…
It took me a while to figure it out…
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months, in which everything that surrounds you breaks? Sure, if you are a fix-it person, we fix stuff all the time, so no big deal right? It’s what we do. We fix things, but what if everything continues to break or stay un-fixed, over and over and over and every tweak, nuance, caveat you apply to the process, equipment, technology, the fix wiggles free from its bonds or boundaries and breaks over and over and over again. I am so tired of fixing things that refuse stay to fixed! There I said it. Oh, what to do about fixing the unfixable.
And yet, if I am to be honestly transparent, even to myself, it is not the fixing that is the tiring part. Oh no, it’s the angst I feel as I run on my hamsters wheel. Hamsters don’t mind the wheel. They actually LOVE the wheel. Not I! Or at least, not of late. I have become a bubbling, boiling pot, popping and spitting hot, vitriol liquid in all directions or rather, which is more the case, I seethe quietly, grinding my teeth, holding my tongue, biting my lip, churning my gut, internally bubbling white-hot as it splashes up into my throat and yet, swallowing harder and harder to keep the poisonous, bile down. This is the source of my exhaustion. I’m truly at a loss to fix even myself? Even if I had an ounce of strength left within, haven’t I become the source of my problem- unfixable? Who can break this cycle that traps and cages my spirit?
Praise be to the living God, my Rock and Redeemer! When I finally went to Him; willing to face Him and my dilemma; He gave me a verse today. Our God is a generous God. He says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5)
So, this is my verse…
…in the spirit, bubbling to the Lord; serving in the hope; rejoicing in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; in the needs of the holy ones, participating in the hospitality… Romans 12:11-12.
My verse pretty much says, we are to bubble in the spirit. I have been bubbling all right; that is a reality; but the mandate is clear. The choice of recipe is mine or ours. Either bubble vitriol or bubble in the Spirit. So, what is bubbling in the Spirit? What would bubbling in the Spirit look like?
If I were bubbling in the Spirit of Christ, I would be in tune with His character; God’s character, which is love, joy, peace, patience, tender-hearted mercy, righteousness, and holiness. This is not what I have been doing…Only when I yield my will and asking forgiveness can His effervescent living water put out the flames and dissolve the venomous poison. But how do I stay yielded and pliable; open to God and His plan when it is for fixing the unfixable? Well, here’s where the verse targets my situation-if I am continuing in immediate and instant prayer, I stay focused on something other than myself and my comfort. After all, it’s not supposed to be about me! Focusing on meeting the needs of other Followers of Christ and showing hospitality, kindness, gentleness and goodness to strangers i.e. those who don’t know Christ, as the verse states; I will be too busy to think about fixing the fix or counting the number of times I have to fix it. Counting doesn’t help. Counting hurts. If memory serves, I remember David got in big trouble once for counting God’s army. He wasn’t trusting God either and planned his own fix. I am sure, if we could ask him, he would readily admit he was tired of fixing the fix, fighting the battle, going to war with this ‘ite’ and that ‘ite’. And yet, God reminded him, trust is not in numbers. Trust is built on confidence in Him; the living God.
You may be good at counting; years of practice honing the skill, perhaps. We must pray; pray more instantaneously; be undone completely and immediately, to be transformed from bubbling poison to bubbling love.
I will leave you with Romans 12 to mediate on…Blessings to you today as you with God’s help, bubble and boil a pot of goodness and mercy.